{"id":1421,"date":"2017-06-17T18:28:11","date_gmt":"2017-06-17T16:28:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/?p=1421"},"modified":"2023-03-30T11:44:00","modified_gmt":"2023-03-30T09:44:00","slug":"stretching-yourself-doing-things-the-ex-pat-way-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/fr\/blog\/stretching-yourself-doing-things-the-ex-pat-way-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Stretching yourself: doing things the ex-pat way"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In any Paris exercise class \u2013 be it Pilates, <em>Gym Suedoise<\/em> or the unappealingly named \u201cBody Attack\u201d \u2013 there is always a moment when can you spot the other ex-pat(s) in the room. It\u2019s at that point when the instructor says something like (here I take an example from my own yoga class): \u201cNow, <em>if this isn\u2019t enough of a stretch<\/em>, <em>you can make the posture more challenging<\/em> by extending your left arm, raising your foot and taking hold of your big toe\u201d. It\u2019s then that you see a gleam in the eye of the ex-pat: \u201cOh goody\u201d, she\u2019s thinking, \u201cI can make it harder for myself!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>The road less travelled<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Because let\u2019s admit it, folks, ex-pats, and even more so, ex-pat parents, are not people who have chosen the path of least resistance in life. We\u2019re people who choose \u2013 either by looking to move or by deciding to \u201cfollow\u201d a spouse \u2013 to build a life in a foreign country, perhaps in a foreign language, usually with few friends to start off, often with little knowledge of how the system works\u2026 I\u2019m that kind of gal myself. I arrived in Paris with two suitcases, a part-time job as a language assistant, and a metre-squared room in a <em>foyer de jeunes filles<\/em>. I knew nobody. Friends starting well-paid jobs in London, moving into flat-shares with good mates from university, and taking their washing home at the weekends thought I was mad. But you \u2013 yes, you the masochistic ex-pat like me who\u2019s chosen the road less travelled \u2013 you know that I just had to do life the hard way. It\u2019s in our nature. When choosing a book for my holiday, not for me a nice Marion Keyes page-turner that looks really fun; no, this is the perfect opportunity to attack <em>Les Mis\u00e9rables<\/em>! And I don\u2019t just have the easy chocolate Advent calendar. We\u2019ll get one, sure, but I think I\u2019ll also hand-sew a perpetual calendar with little motivational quotations in the pockets that I\u2019ll write out in coloured inks. The school bake sale asks for parents to bring in a cake per family? I\u2019ll make 30 frosted cupcakes instead, plus a Victoria sponge for the teachers!<\/p>\n<p>Raising a child as an ex-pat is a whole other world of self-inflicted \u201chard way\u201d, isn\u2019t it? It raises questions about giving birth in a foreign language, sometimes learning vocabulary you weren\u2019t even sure of in English, making choices about bi\/trilingualism, learning about the school system, perhaps facing differences in approaches to bringing up children \u2013 with a foreign spouse, foreign in-laws, and society as a whole. It\u2019s a minefield.<\/p>\n<p><strong>A life lived on purpose<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve always found that intrinsic to life as an ex-pat is the fact that everything is slightly more intense, or rather that you live everything more intensely. The highs are higher, and, boy, the lows are lower. So, on days when we\u2019re feeling strong and life is going well, we are aware that what we\u2019re doing is difficult, we get a kick out of it, and indeed, we respect for ourselves for choosing to be challenged. But on days when there are comprehension problems at school, the bank screws up an international transfer, and you have to do battle with the <em>La Poste<\/em> to find the parcel your aunt in Australia sent you, you can wind up shaking your fist at the sky and wondering why you\u2019re inflicting this life upon yourself.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s in those moments that you take a breath, have a cup of tea (the British panacea!), and ask yourself the following powerful coaching questions:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>What have I learnt since my arrival in Paris and how has that expanded my horizons?<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>What personal growth is my life here allowing me (and my family) that wouldn\u2019t be available back home?<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Who\/what\/how am I in Paris that I couldn\u2019t have been at home? <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>What would I miss about my life here if I were to leave it tomorrow? <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>If I had never moved here, which people would I have missed out on meeting and\/or befriending? <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>No matter how hard you might be finding life in Paris right now, you have without a doubt learnt and grown since your arrival. When it all seems just a bit too hard and not worth it, take a step back, ask yourself these questions and <em>give yourself a break<\/em>. Even us \u201cpush-yourself\u201d ex-pats sometimes need to do just the minimum \u2013 the <em>simple<\/em> yoga pose, the gaudy-cover beach book, a Kinder calendar &#8211; and, yes, God bless Marks &amp; Spencer for that pre-iced sponge cake that will sometimes just have to do.<\/p>\n<p>Originally published in Message Paris magazine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In any Paris exercise class \u2013 be it Pilates, Gym Suedoise or the unappealingly named \u201cBody Attack\u201d \u2013 there is always a moment when can you spot the other ex-pat(s) in the room. It\u2019s at that point when the instructor says something like (here I take an example from my own yoga class): \u201cNow, if [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1487,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[168],"tags":[282,280,279,281],"class_list":["post-1421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching","tag-ex-pat-life","tag-france","tag-paris","tag-personal-growth"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Stretching yourself: doing things the ex-pat way - Joanne Archibald | Coaching<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/blog\/stretching-yourself-doing-things-the-ex-pat-way-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stretching yourself: doing things the ex-pat way - Joanne Archibald | Coaching\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In any Paris exercise class \u2013 be it Pilates, Gym Suedoise or the unappealingly named \u201cBody Attack\u201d \u2013 there is always a moment when can you spot the other ex-pat(s) in the room. 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