{"id":2393,"date":"2022-09-05T01:01:41","date_gmt":"2022-09-04T23:01:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/?p=2393"},"modified":"2023-03-30T11:40:25","modified_gmt":"2023-03-30T09:40:25","slug":"managing-transitions-taking-a-leaf-out-of-natures-book","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/fr\/blog\/managing-transitions-taking-a-leaf-out-of-natures-book\/","title":{"rendered":"Managing transitions: taking a leaf out of nature\u2019s book"},"content":{"rendered":"

This summer, one of my dearest friends (let\u2019s call her Jennifer) fulfilled her dream of moving from Paris to Annecy, where she can ski to her heart\u2019s content for almost half the year. Ex-pats get used to having friends come and go \u2013 it is part of the job description. I have many overseas friends with whom I am just as close now as when they were in Paris. With others, contact is patchier but pleasing, and with some, we have mutually accepted that our friendship was specific to a certain time. Jennifer is in another category altogether, though. She\u2019s one of those friends who makes you feel like you\u2019re truly travelling through life together. She calls so I can sympathise the first time her optometrist suggests bifocals. I ring her to share something hilarious my four-year-old said at supper. She\u2019s spent Christmases with my family. My kids call her Auntie. Yes, she\u2019s that<\/em> friend. So, while I still have other great friends here and I know we\u2019ll still speak frequently, her departure is a real loss.<\/p>\n

Shortly after Jennifer left, I went on holiday with my family, so it\u2019s actually only now that I\u2019m really feeling her absence. We\u2019ll be moving into the autumn soon and, as I anticipate the leaves falling from the trees, I can\u2019t help but feel the last decade has been somewhat autumnal in tone in general. It has been a time when several ex-pat friends have returned to their native lands, native pals have married and moved to other bits of France, and still others have had babies and retreated into a little family bubble for the cocooning years. That this exodus coincided with me leaving a salaried job to set up my own business, moving to the suburbs, and having two children myself only exacerbated my \u201cend of an era\u201d feeling. Hence why I have been heard to compare my situation with that of a tree in autumn, losing its trusty, long-loved blanket of foliage to reveal slightly sad and wintry boughs.<\/p>\n

It sounds slightly morose, I know, but in truth I rather love the autumn, and I also love the metaphor it offers for perpetual change and the hope of renewal. Because the reason trees lose their leaves is so that they can concentrate their stores of energy to survive the cold months and burst forth in springtime, greener and stronger than ever. Nature cannot create newness before first stripping back what was. And so it is with our human experience. When we go through major change, between the life we used to lead and the building of a new life, there must be a void. Just as between autumn and spring, there must be winter.\u00a0 When one chapter of life ends, there must be a time of emptiness before we can write a new chapter, allowing new connections, hobbies, traditions, friends, projects and job opportunities to emerge.<\/p>\n

Autumnal rituals<\/strong><\/p>\n

And they will<\/em> emerge. Nature abhors a vacuum, as they say. I \u2013 indeed, we all – know that deep down, but it\u2019s slightly cold comfort when it\u2019s the bleak midwinter and there\u2019s not a snowdrop in sight. So what does help? Well, transition rituals are definitely a good idea. Taking the time to say goodbye is healthy. Despite the fact that Jennifer and I will still talk several times a week, I gave her a leaving gift and we had a \u201clast\u201d fun Parisian night out to mark the change. I think it also helps to realise that external and internal change don\u2019t necessarily happen at the same time. In his 1980 book Transitions<\/em>, William Bridges explains how the mental and emotional transitions we feel when we experience major external change \u2013 whether good or bad – can happen weeks, months or years after the fact. The knowledge that feelings of loss and bewilderment (for a job we left, a house we sold, a friend who moved away, a lifestyle that ended) can hit much later, when we think we\u2019ve moved on, will not lessen the sadness but will make us better prepared to welcome our feelings and take care of ourselves.<\/p>\n

In the workplace, acknowledging that even happy transitions can be challenging is crucial. That might mean providing better support for staff who are promoted or who change jobs. It is important to mark the transition (celebrate a promotion, properly announce a shift in job remit) and ensure there is a clear moment when they change role. So often, internal position changes come with an inevitable period during which the employee manages both old and new role at the same time. The more companies can create a clear demarcation, the easier it is for people to say goodbye, close a chapter, and embrace a new one.<\/p>\n

What to do in winter? <\/strong><\/p>\n

I also think that simply accepting the void before the rebirth \u2013 making peace with that limbo land between the end of an era and the beginning of a new one \u2013 can save us pain an energy. This is counter-intuitive for me, as I\u2019m someone who wants to roll up her sleeves and \u201cfix\u201d things, but it\u2019s a waste of energy. Some feelings just have to be felt and waited out \u2013 like when your husband convinces you to try Space Mountain despite the fact that you hate rollercoasters and you realise after a few seconds that a) it\u2019s just as horrific as you had imagined, and b) you cannot get off and this must be what people mean when they say, \u201cthe only way out is through\u201d. Sometimes, you just have to ride the rollercoaster, all the while staying curious about your experience, emotions and processes.<\/p>\n

If you are a manager, supporting your team during a rocky period at work, for example during a restructure, can feel disempowering. You may not have any power over seismic changes taking place in the company, but you can help your staff by acknowledging that times are tough and encouraging open discussion of both what\u2019s going on and how they are feeling during team meetings. You might begin by admitting that you are not enjoying the rollercoaster much yourself. You may not be able to fix the problem but you can make sure your team feels seen and heard to help them feel less alone during a professional winter of discontent, perhaps.<\/p>\n

Celebrating the spring<\/strong><\/p>\n

When you\u2019re waiting for the spring \u2013 whether you\u2019re prospecting for a new business and hoping for your first client, keeping an eye out for social opportunities after moving to a new town, or biding your time until a new normal emerges after the arrival of a baby \u2013 I have found the key is to find ease. Metaphors about not being a salmon swimming against the current, and Buddhism-inspired notions of non-attachment to specific outcomes immediately spring to mind.<\/p>\n

When one chapter of your life ends, it is easy to start viewing it through rose-tinted glasses but, while memories are precious, it\u2019s important not to forget that the new chapter about to be written will bring its own joy. I\u2019m still talking to Jennifer (and many of my other far-flung friends) regularly, and I\u2019m already planning a trip to see her the weekend of Annecy\u2019s annual apple and honey festival (It\u2019s straight out of Gilmore Girls<\/em>, right? Talk about a silver lining to her move!). But I\u2019m also staying open to the new connections I have begun making \u2013 through suburban life, the children\u2019s school, my growing business. Because the old adage is right \u2013 change really is the only constant. And the more you can behave like that tree \u2013 allowing its leaves to fall, safe in the knowledge that it has enough inner resources to wait out the winter and sure that the spring will bring new life \u2013 the more gracefully, easefully, and happily you will face the ever-changing seasons of your life.<\/p>\n

Are you struggling with a tough transition? Do you want to make life changes but fear the unknown? You needn\u2019t go through it alone. Working with an understanding, supportive and experienced coach can help you embrace change as you take one step at a time towards a life and career built<\/strong> with purpose and on purpose<\/strong>. Contact me<\/strong><\/a> to find out how we can work together. <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This summer, one of my dearest friends (let\u2019s call her Jennifer) fulfilled her dream of moving from Paris to Annecy, where she can ski to her heart\u2019s content for almost half the year. Ex-pats get used to having friends come and go \u2013 it is part of the job description. I have many overseas friends […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2394,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[168],"tags":[346,445,117,273,446,444],"class_list":["post-2393","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching","tag-change","tag-change-management","tag-friendship","tag-personal-development","tag-renewal","tag-transitions"],"yoast_head":"\nManaging transitions: taking a leaf out of nature\u2019s book - Joanne Archibald | Coaching<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Change is the only constant in life, and becoming comfortable with that is key to moving through life with grace and joy. 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