{"id":2401,"date":"2022-10-01T07:01:27","date_gmt":"2022-10-01T05:01:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/?p=2401"},"modified":"2023-03-30T11:40:10","modified_gmt":"2023-03-30T09:40:10","slug":"lessons-in-life-from-our-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/fr\/blog\/lessons-in-life-from-our-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Lessons in life from our children"},"content":{"rendered":"

I was recently regaling a close (and willing!) friend with a few stories of funny things my children have said and done of late. For example, my seven-year-old daughter who loves to read Dog Man<\/em> has taken to exclaiming \u201cOh boy, this is gonna be great\u201d, which is hilarious given her cut-glass English accent. I was also recounting how, when my four-year-old son colours, he does so as if his life depends on it: the tongue is sticking out, he can\u2019t keep from standing up on his chair, the concentration is so intense it\u2019s almost audible. \u201cAh,\u201d sighed my friend, \u201c\u201dWe should all be a little more like Sam, I think \u2013 so enthusiastic and wholehearted.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her words got me thinking. I could definitely do with being a little bit more like my children \u2013 in many ways. One day, I will surely need them to teach me how to type a document using only my brainwaves, or to configure whatever we\u2019re using instead of smartphones 20 years from now. The mind reels. But for now, there is already a lot I can learn from them. It may be the adult\u2019s job to teach our children to read, swim and cross the road safely, but we can definitely benefit from taking a leaf out of their wise little books now and then \u2013 both in our personal lives and the professional sphere.<\/p>\n

Here are my top seven life lessons we can take from children \u2013 our own and other people\u2019s!<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Live 100%<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Despite the fact that I devised my slogan \u201clife with purpose and on purpose\u201d years before having children, it is only since having them that I have witnessed someone truly putting this into practice. When my son is building with Kapla, his focus is absolute. It\u2019s a full-body experience that absorbs all his attention. When my daughter is sewing, you can call her for dinner 10 times before she even looks up. Whatever children do, they do it wholeheartedly. Applying this lesson to my life \u2013 seeking out what\u2019s known as \u201cflow\u201d – never fails to improve the quality of my experience. Coaching is already an activity that requires full presence, but when I consciously try to \u201cbe more like Sam and Alice\u201d, I seem to take it to another level and am truly absorbed by my client. When I\u2019m writing, turning off the phone and closing email makes it so much more enjoyable. Even if I\u2019m just cooking supper, doing so with music on and a clear intention to nourish and care for my family add both value and fun to the task. In essence, this tip comes down to: be here now.<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Ask for what you need and want<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      If supper is served late, kids have no qualms about manifesting their displeasure. If they need to pee during a train ride, the whole carriage will likely know about it. Children ask for (ok, demand) what they need and are vocal about what they want. I think we\u2019d all benefit from being a little more like this. So often, our resentment, anger and sadness are linked to unspoken needs and desires. Of course, the remedy is not to stamp your foot and throw a hissy fit, but if we all expressed ourselves more, and more clearly, we\u2019d definitely boost our chances of reaching our goals and gaining satisfaction. In the workplace, this might mean making sure the boss knows you aim to achieve director status by the age of 40, or that your long-term goal is to move to the US office. At home, maybe you ask for help with chores, or create a family rota rather than sighing loudly as you fold laundry alone. With friends, it might simply mean daring to say \u201cActually, tonight I really fancy Thai food\u201d rather than the usual \u201cI really don\u2019t mind where we eat \u2013 what\u2019s your preference?\u201d<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Own your feelings and show them<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        When children are sad, they cry. When they are joyful, they laugh. When they are young, at least, there are no feelings that are off-limits or shameful, and demonstrating their inner state comes naturally. As adults, to add insult to the injury of unpleasant emotions like sadness, anger or disappointment, we also experience meta-emotions. We have feelings about the feelings we are having, for example feeling ashamed of being lonely, or irritated that we feel envious, and we force ourselves to hide what we\u2019re going through. We could all benefit from allowing ourselves to feel what we feel, without judgement and \u2013 when appropriate \u2013 to express it too. One way to facilitate this in the workplace might be for managers to be more vocal about their own emotions \u2013 perhaps frustration at a budget cut, or overwhelm at an extra project the team has been assigned. When they do this, they give their team permission to feel and share some of what they are experiencing too.<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Marvel and wonder<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          On the walk to school, my children are able to find way more than seven wonders of the natural world that will cause them to stop and exclaim, \u201cMummy, LOOK!\u201d These marvellous findings might range from the grid patterns made by airplanes as they crisscross the sky to particularly large snails and solitary magpies (\u201cHello Mr Magpie and how\u2019s your lady wife today?\u201d they chorus). Despite my best adult instincts, I have now learnt to embrace these moments and seize the opportunity to look hard at what\u2019s going on around me. To notice the carpet of conkers, kick up the russet leaves, smell the jasmine bush overflowing from one front garden on our route, laugh at the mini dog wearing a Father Christmas coat. The walk takes a little longer, surely, but it is a richer sensory experience, and the day starts on a note of enchantment and delight.<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Enjoy the journey<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Further mining the rich seam of learning that is the school run (or the slow school walk in our case)\u2026 My children\u2019s appreciation of our conversation and the things we notice on the way to school serves as a constant reminder to me that the journey is part of the adventure. This is fairly easy to keep in mind when your destination is a beach in Hawaii, but more challenging during a business trip. However, when on my way to coaching clients in Toulouse, Geneva or Lyon, I always try to make the most of the travel time, which could otherwise seem like dead time. Flights are a chance to read. Train trips with my computer give me time to write. Even a simple trip on the Paris metro can provide opportunities to check out posters for new films and exhibitions, notice changes in fashions, and (more often that you might imagine) observe random acts of courtesy and kindness performed for strangers.<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. Put yourself centre stage<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              Have you ever noticed how often children say \u201cI\u201d and \u201cme\u201d? They are constantly talking about themselves \u2013 what they think, like, want, need\u2026 When they are recounting something that happened at school, they are very definitely the main character. If they are deciding between the pink sparkly t-shirt and the multi-coloured unicorn, the only taste they take into account is their own. Children live their lives centre stage, eschewing the kind of comparison with others that plagues us as adults and causes us to \u201cshould\u201d on ourselves. All too often, we pay more attention to what others are wearing, doing, buying, achieving, than what we<\/em> like, want and need. We can learn much from children\u2019s ability to be the focus of their own attention.<\/p>\n

                \n
              1. Let it go<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                As adults, we hold on to so much emotion and carry around so much baggage, thinking today about what happened yesterday, last month, last year, or a decade ago. Children, on the other hand, make like Elsa and just let it go. When the school day is over, it is over. When a Mr Hyde-level tantrum has been calmed, they switch back to their Dr Jekyll face in seconds. This ability to let things go is invaluable to our professional lives. Too often, we ruminate on a conversation with the boss, or mull over an upcoming presentation when we should be focusing on a hobby, a friend or our family. The more we can learn to leave the day behind when we walk out of the office (or clear the computer from the dining table\/home office), the more we can contain our worktime and be present for our personal time.<\/p>\n

                \n

                Do you wince whenever you hear someone described as \u201cliving his best life\u201d or \u201cwinning at life\u201d, conscious that you don\u2019t feel that is the case for you? Do you feel, deep down, that while life is fine, it could be so much more fulfilling and joyful? Working with a supportive, dynamic and insightful coach can help you make the big and small changes you need to ensure you enjoy a life and career built<\/strong> with purpose and on purpose<\/strong>. Contact me<\/strong><\/a> to find out how we can work together. <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                I was recently regaling a close (and willing!) friend with a few stories of funny things my children have said and done of late. For example, my seven-year-old daughter who loves to read Dog Man has taken to exclaiming \u201cOh boy, this is gonna be great\u201d, which is hilarious given her cut-glass English accent. 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