{"id":5264,"date":"2023-09-12T09:00:57","date_gmt":"2023-09-12T07:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/?p=5264"},"modified":"2023-09-12T09:33:37","modified_gmt":"2023-09-12T07:33:37","slug":"how-i-lost-a-tooth-and-gained-new-gratitude","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/fr\/blog\/how-i-lost-a-tooth-and-gained-new-gratitude\/","title":{"rendered":"How I lost a tooth and gained new gratitude"},"content":{"rendered":"

This summer, I found myself in the unenviable position of having to undergo minor dental surgery. Minor but significant, since I loathe going to the dentist. But this little operation was necessary, so I gritted my teeth, so to speak, and did it. But it did not go well. Complications left me in terrible pain for three weeks until a new dentist diagnosed the issue and fixed it.<\/p>\n

Quite literally overnight, I went from lying on the sofa with an icepack on my face, unable to eat, talk or even focus on a TV show to experiencing slight discomfort. When I woke up, I laid there waiting for the searing pain to kick in, as it had every other morning. But it never came. So I did what any normal person would do. I burst into tears. I cried and cried with relief, joy, and thanks. Which brings me to the subject at hand. I admit that dental surgery does not seem like an auspicious start to musings on gratitude, but bear with me; I assure you there is a point to this story.<\/p>\n

Gratitude: not just an attitude<\/strong><\/p>\n

The idea that gratitude can have a significant impact on wellbeing and a positive effect on our lives is not new; academics like Robert Emmons have been researching its potential for decades and the internet has long held a wealth of inspirational cards encouraging us to adopt \u201can attitude of gratitude\u201d. However, in recent years, researchers and writers like Sonja Lyubomirsky have added a nuance by championing the idea that gratitude can be a practice \u2013 not just something we feel, but something we actively choose to practice day to day, for example by keeping a gratitude journal or writing weekly thank you letters to people who have made an impact on our lives.<\/p>\n

A common thread to the vast majority of the literature and thinking on gratitude is that we should stop focusing on all the things we do not have and instead be more aware of and grateful for all that we do have. That we should concentrate on enjoying what is, rather than bemoaning what is not \u2013 and wishing things were different seems to me both wise and pretty much indisputably helpful advice. However, today I would like to \u2013 perhaps controversially \u2013 suggest we do quite the opposite. Yes, I would like to make a case for taking a moment each day to think about everything we do not have.<\/p>\n

To have and have not<\/strong><\/p>\n

If there is one thing my painful little dental interlude taught me, it is how often we fail to appreciate the trials and tribulations we are not suffering. In the hours before I had my surgery, I happily ate a delicious cr\u00eaperie lunch and browsed a stationery shop (there is not greater joy). It never occurred to me to be happy, grateful even, that in that moment I did not have any pain, that I did not feel nauseated or tired or scared.<\/p>\n

In this, I am reminded of a nugget of wisdom I heard once: if we could all put our problems in a big pile and see everyone else\u2019s alongside our own, chances are we\u2019d all scramble to take back our concerns and issues rather than swapping with others. Because giving thanks for what is not extends beyond just not being in pain, or not being sick. Apart from when we hear of an awful tragedy and offer up a quick (but quickly forgotten) \u201cthere but for the grace of God\u201d, how often do we really stop to consider all the problems we do not have to handle? It is not until a problem occurs that I think about \u2013 and yearn for – the time before the issue was on my plate.<\/p>\n

Looking for what\u2019s not there<\/strong><\/p>\n

So, in addition to giving thanks for \u2013 indeed perhaps developing a gratitude practice around \u2013 all the things you have, and the way your life is, why not take a moment to acknowledge what you don\u2019t have? With certain items on that list, it\u2019s about recognising privilege; with others it\u2019s simply about appreciating the absence of a problem. The list can include the biggest things like freedom from major illness (a blessing we take for granted until it\u2019s no longer true) to the most trivial.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll start. Right now, I have zero back pain \u2013 this is not always the case, so I am grateful. I don\u2019t have any problems to deal with regarding my children\u2019s academic progress, nor are they having trouble making friends. My house doesn\u2019t have a leak or anything major that needs to be fixed. I don\u2019t have a broken washing machine. Finally \u2013 and for this I\u2019m still offering up daily thanks \u2013 I do not have a toothache!<\/p>\n

When you start looking around to notice the problems you don\u2019t have, you\u2019ll find there\u2019s even more to be grateful for than you thought. This little shift in perspective can provide a way to turn a seemingly ordinary day into a day full of uplifting gratitude for just that \u2013 its ordinariness, its lack of drama, emergency and issues to resolve. Gratitude for what is not. Give it a go.<\/p>\n

\n


\nDo you find it hard to see the good in your life \u2013 or in yourself? Are you tired of feeling disappointed, stressed and frustrated? Working with a compassionate and experienced coach can help you to find the joy in what is while taking steps towards changing he parts of your life that could be more fulfilling. You can benefit from my energy, insights and dedication to supporting my clients as they clear obstacles and chart a path to success, happiness and peace. Contact me<\/a> to find out more about working together.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This summer, I found myself in the unenviable position of having to undergo minor dental surgery. Minor but significant, since I loathe going to the dentist. But this little operation was necessary, so I gritted my teeth, so to speak, and did it. But it did not go well. Complications left me in terrible pain […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5265,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[481,113,480,153,166],"class_list":["post-5264","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-appreciation","tag-giving-thanks","tag-grateful","tag-gratitude","tag-positive-thinking"],"yoast_head":"\nHow I lost a tooth and gained new gratitude - Joanne Archibald | Coaching<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u00a0We are so often told not to think about what we do not have and to focus on all we have in order to adopt an attitude of gratitude. 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