{"id":5487,"date":"2025-01-14T10:41:18","date_gmt":"2025-01-14T09:41:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/?p=5487"},"modified":"2025-01-14T16:00:05","modified_gmt":"2025-01-14T15:00:05","slug":"three-remedies-for-broken-resolutions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/fr\/blog\/three-remedies-for-broken-resolutions\/","title":{"rendered":"Three remedies for broken resolutions"},"content":{"rendered":"

Be honest. As we enter the second half of January, how many of your new year\u2019s resolutions are still going strong?<\/p>\n

Reported statistics vary, but according to a recent study by Columbia University, while nearly half of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, when January ends, only about 25% are still committed to them. I read another international statistic that said 80% of all resolutions are broken by the end of February. Wherever the true figure lies (often somewhere in the middle of all the stats!), it doesn\u2019t speak to a high success rate. So, if you are amongst the majority of people who have trouble keeping to their best intentions as the smell of fireworks fades and the chimes of midnight become but a distant memory, the good news is: you are far from alone.<\/p>\n

And you do have options about how you want to deal with your broken resolution! Three, to my mind\u2026<\/p>\n

1. Start again<\/strong><\/p>\n

The temptation when you\u2019ve broken your resolution(s) and you\u2019re feeling at best annoyed with yourself, at worst like an abject failure, is simply to give up. To consider the whole resolution over and double down on the break. You\u2019ve caved during a dinner with friends and had a drink during your Dry January, so you say \u201cscrew it\u201d and help the gang finish the bottle. You missed a session in your 30-day yoga challenge, breaking the nice little row of tick marks you\u2019d been mentally (or perhaps literally) giving yourself, so the urge is to say \u201cwell, that\u2019s torn it\u201d and forget the whole thing. You had a wobbly moment resulting in a cadged cigarette that makes you think you might as well just call it a day and buy a packet. Or maybe you simply binged on Netflix for three days when the January blues hit and now you feel slightly sick, disappointed with yourself, and vaguely doomed since the year didn\u2019t get off to a productive and wholesome start.<\/p>\n

While giving up is a valid option (see below), it isn\u2019t the only one you have. A resolution doesn\u2019t have to start on 1st January or be kept perfectly every day to have meaning and be worthy of your time and effort. So you slipped. Big deal. You probably know the saying \u201cTo err is human, to forgive divine\u201d; it comes from \u201cAn Essay on Criticism\u201d by Alexander Pope in which the poet explores what it means to be a good literary critic. Think about that: what is a good critic? What would it mean to be a good critic when it comes to yourself? Yes, you have erred \u2013 you are, after all, human \u2013 but can your inner critic find a way to be a good inner critic and forgive you? Maybe it\u2019s easier if you imagine that it\u2019s your best friend, partner or child who has slipped and is now in need of a little understanding and a gentle pep talk? Extend to yourself the same kindness, compassion and encouragement you would offer to someone you love. Then, simply make the choice to accept the human frailty of your erring, and move on. Without giving up, without throwing the baby out with the bathwater, and \u2013 crucially – without feeling like you have to start from scratch, simply continue to respect your resolution.<\/p>\n

When my daughter learned to write, I noticed quickly that she was gloriously unbothered by mistakes. She would spell a word wrongly, realise her error, cross it, out then write it correctly. She never felt the need to throw out her poem or story and start again on a fresh piece of paper so that it would be perfect, and since she hadn\u2019t yet discovered Tipp-Ex, she didn\u2019t even attempt to cover up the fact that she\u2019d made mistake. She simply corrected and carried on. You too can do that. When I look at her old letters to Santa, I delight in every Pleese<\/span>, I woold<\/span> like and Fathre Cristmas<\/span> as signs of her progress and testaments to her learning and perseverance. Maybe, when you look back over the year and remember your resolution slip-ups, you too will be able to see them as times when you wobbled but got back on course and, along the way, learnt how to be a good critic and forgive yourself.<\/p>\n

2. Adjust your expectations<\/strong><\/p>\n

Before you plough on, get back on the horse (or wagon), restart the machine and recommit to your laudable goal, consider adjusting your expectations of yourself. Perhaps you keep breaking your resolution because it simply isn\u2019t realistic or achievable. Is a daily run really compatible with your schedule? Maybe it needs to be adjusted to a more manageable three times a week to accommodate young children and their inevitable sleepless nights and illnesses. Or perhaps you need to rethink how it fits into your day. Is lunchtime not so convenient after all? Maybe making it an early morning activity would work better?<\/p>\n

Give yourself permission to re-commit to the spirit of your resolution while adjusting the parameters of your agreement with yourself to take into account and overcome the obstacles you have been encountering. In other words, look at what\u2019s been stopping you from keeping your resolution and, if you decide to stick with it, make a plan for how you\u2019ll deal with those things this time round.<\/p>\n

3. Give up<\/strong>
\n<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Or…
\nOr\u2026
\nYou could just give up. Yep, not a very coach-y thing to say, but there it is: simply giving up is a totally viable option. I\u2019m not saying this in some kind of reverse psychology move. You are in charge. You set yourself this challenge, and you can choose to end it. If you do take this route, make sure it\u2019s for the right reasons, though. Don\u2019t stop because you doubt yourself. Don\u2019t give up because you keep slipping and think you\u2019ve lost momentum. Don\u2019t let it go because you\u2019re struggling and the high road feels too hard.<\/p>\n

Before throwing in the towel, ask yourself why you set the resolution \u2013 what was keeping it supposed to do for you, what were your anticipated benefits? Ask yourself too who you were attempting to please or make proud by achieving it. If the answer is anything other than yourself, then perhaps the reason you are finding the resolution so hard to keep is because your heart isn\u2019t in it; maybe you\u2019re not really committed because it was never really your resolution in the first place? Is it possible that you were, in fact, shoulding on yourself<\/a>?<\/p>\n

If you self-examine and find that you were indeed dancing to someone else\u2019s tune or resolving for the wrong reasons, simply stop. Clear your head, do a quick stock take, and then \u2013 if it\u2019s right for you \u2013 make a different resolution. One that furthers your personal agenda and growth. While making resolutions is a new year tradition and \u201cstarting Monday morning\u201d always feels logical, the truth is that the best time to make your life better is now, whatever the day, date or time.<\/p>\n

Read more about making and keeping new year\u2019s resolutions, intentions and goals
\n<\/strong>Making the new year mindful<\/a>
\nSetting New Year\u2019s intentions<\/a>
\nKnow your why<\/a>
\nMaking resolutions you will keep<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

Have you started 2025 feeling stuck in a rut? Would you like to break some old, bad habits and create new, healthier habits and patterns of behaviour? Do you have a project that you\u2019d finally like to get off the ground this year? Enlisting the support of a dynamic, empathetic and encouraging coach with over a decade of experience can help you make this your most intentional year yet. The year where you get yourself off autopilot and start living with purpose and on purpose. Contact me<\/a><\/strong> to find out more about working together.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Be honest. As we enter the second half of January, how many of your new year\u2019s resolutions are still going strong? Reported statistics vary, but according to a recent study by Columbia University, while nearly half of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, when January ends, only about 25% are still committed to them. I read […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5488,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[525,272,393,491,495,97,391,273,133,93],"class_list":["post-5487","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-broken-resolutions","tag-goal-setting","tag-goals","tag-intentions","tag-motivation","tag-new-year","tag-new-years-resolutions","tag-personal-development","tag-resolutions","tag-self-improvement"],"yoast_head":"\nThree remedies for broken resolutions - Joanne Archibald | Coaching<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Most people break their new year\u2019s resolution before January is even over. 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