{"id":704,"date":"2012-01-09T14:07:28","date_gmt":"2012-01-09T13:07:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/?p=704"},"modified":"2023-03-30T11:44:28","modified_gmt":"2023-03-30T09:44:28","slug":"the-forgotten-commandment-thou-shalt-not-whine-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/fr\/blog\/the-forgotten-commandment-thou-shalt-not-whine-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The forgotten commandment: Thou Shalt Not Whine"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the long grey winter months, it\u2019s easy to be negative and hard to act cheery, but just as you are what you eat, so too you feel what you focus on. Choose to change your focus.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You can\u2019t really argue with the Ten Commandments. I mean, as rules for happy and harmonious living go, they\u2019re a pretty solid base: don\u2019t kill; don\u2019t cheat on your spouse; don\u2019t steal; don\u2019t lie. So far, I\u2019m on board. Have a day of rest every week. Yep! Take care of your parents. Absolutely. Without wishing to labour the point, I don\u2019t think many people would take exception to any of the above, whatever their religious leanings. Sadly, however, I have often felt that one commandment was missing.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong. Ten is a great figure \u2013 it\u2019s even, pleasingly round, fits with our decimal currency, can be nicely spaced out into two five-item lists on a couple of handy stone tablets. I can totally see why Moses would get to the end of dictation, see a nice symmetrical pair of lists, and casually decide to leave commandment Number 11 at the top of the hill, but honestly, I really think he dropped the ball. Our lives would be infinitely more pleasant had he just added one last rule to the list:<\/p>\n

Thou shalt not whine<\/strong><\/p>\n

The addition of those four little words to that fateful list would have made such a difference, wouldn\u2019t it? Whining is perhaps one of the least attractive traits in a person, and is certainly one of the most draining. I have an acquaintance \u2013 let\u2019s call her Wendy \u2013 who, whenever I ask the innocent question, \u201cHow are you?\u201d replies with some permutation of, \u201cOh, I\u2019m so tired. Yep, really shattered \u2013 I worked until 10 o\u2019 clock every evening last week. It\u2019s just crazy.\u201d When I first knew Wendy I made the mistake of trying to help her with this apparent problem \u2013 suggesting she speak to her boss about her workload, asking whether she was eating properly, that sort of thing. Recently, however, I had an epiphany (I don\u2019t know why I\u2019m on such a religious theme today, I\u2019m on a roll and I\u2019m just going with it). I realised that Wendy isn\u2019t actually asking for help, nor does she need to talk. The bottom line is: Wendy likes whining. And she particularly likes whining about being tired.<\/p>\n

You feel what you focus on<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t actually know anyone who isn\u2019t tired right now. In the bleak midwinter, it\u2019s dark when you go to work, dark when you leave work. You\u2019re trying to lose the Christmas bulge, keep that resolution to go to the gym, maybe even give up or cut down on something \u2013 cigarettes, chocolate, wine\u2026 The post-Christmas winter months can feel grim at times, and yes, they\u2019re tiring. But does saying you\u2019re tired all the time help at all? If, every time someone asks me how I\u2019m doing I answer, \u201cCrikey, this rain is getting me down, I just can\u2019t seem to get warm, and I have a splitting headache\u201d, all I can think of by the end of the day is the rain and the cold and the headache and, lo and behold, it\u2019s all actually worse than at the beginning of the day. But if I reply, \u201cI\u2019m great, thanks! Looking forward to a quiet night in, that\u2019s for sure\u201d, miraculously, I can actually convince myself that I do indeed feel full of beans, and that quiet night has become a choice I\u2019m making in order to take care of myself. I find that I feel what I talk about; which means that I don\u2019t also choose to talk about what I feel.<\/p>\n

Accentuate the positive<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now, I\u2019m not suggesting we bottle up our feelings or lie, but unless mentioning aches, pains, gripes and groans will actually do some good, why go on about them? Now, whenever I see Wendy, I avoid asking how she is and instead pose very specific, fact-based questions: What did you do this weekend? Did you go jogging like you wanted? It\u2019s not that I don\u2019t care, it\u2019s just that not only does Wendy\u2019s whining about being knackered exacerbate her own tiredness, it also exhausts me! If only she could take her focus off the negatives she\u2019s feeling and concentrate on something \u2013 anything \u2013 positive, that good feeling would be increased instead of the bad. The mind is like a magnifying glass \u2013 whatever we choose put under the lens is what our eyes will see enlarged; whatever feeling we choose to talk and think about is what we\u2019ll feel magnified. Luckily, we get to pick what we train our lens on. So, it\u2019s precisely when I\u2019m tired and a bit hungry and maybe a little paranoid that I try hardest to remember to apply the 11th commandment and silently order myself not to whine.<\/p>\n

Originally published on Running in Heels.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the long grey winter months, it\u2019s easy to be negative and hard to act cheery, but just as you are what you eat, so too you feel what you focus on. Choose to change your focus. You can\u2019t really argue with the Ten Commandments. I mean, as rules for happy and harmonious living go, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":705,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[168],"tags":[114,150,97,106,133],"class_list":["post-704","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching","tag-acceptance","tag-complaints","tag-new-year","tag-positive-thought","tag-resolutions"],"yoast_head":"\nThe forgotten commandment: Thou Shalt Not Whine - Joanne Archibald | Coaching<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/joannearchibald.com\/blog\/the-forgotten-commandment-thou-shalt-not-whine-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The forgotten commandment: Thou Shalt Not Whine - Joanne Archibald | Coaching\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In the long grey winter months, it\u2019s easy to be negative and hard to act cheery, but just as you are what you eat, so too you feel what you focus on. 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