On bright days when our cup runneth over, it\u2019s easy to be optimistic and roll with the punches \u2013 positive thinking is second nature to us. However, not every day is a bright day. Sometimes, we wake up to find that, overnight, while nothing has actually changed in our lives, the world has fallen off kilter\u2026 The job offer that yesterday seemed so promising, today looks dead-end and badly-paid. The home in which we felt so comfortable now looks pokey and shabby. The relationships that seemed secure now appear shallow and tenuous.<\/p>\n
Most of us want to act in these moments. We want to get to work fixing the problems we perceive to be the cause of our misery. We never stop to realise that the only thing that has changed between yesterday and today is our mood, which is a result of our thinking. What we need at these times is not a solution but a mental shake. When film characters get the blues, they inevitably sit at a bar \u2013 alone \u2013 and happen to get talking to some gorgeous, semi-mystic stranger who sees into their troubled soul and says something profound and perceptive that gives them just the boost they need. How convenient. Sadly, life isn\u2019t a film, and I have never happened upon a man in a bar who looks like Hugh Jackman and spouts the wisdom of the Dalai Lama. Maybe I\u2019m going to the wrong bars. So, we have to create our own contingency plans. Less glamourous than a divine stranger with just the right thing to say but just as effective is the classic note-to-self scrawled on the humble post-it note.<\/p>\n
I believe in the power of the \u2018Universe\u2019 as much as the next girl, but I also believe in the power of me and my own capacity to pull myself out of the doldrums. I don\u2019t want to leave it to the universe or wait for Hugh Jackman to walk into my life and deliver the killer line that parts the clouds; I take matters into my own hands. I\u2019m preparing now for the days when I\u2019m not my usual sunny self that brims over with perspective \u2013 scrawling notes to myself on post-its to be re-read when that little mental shake is needed. So, here are the top three pieces of advice I\u2019d like to come across on a rainy day. The snippets of wisdom that seem so blindingly obvious in the moment, but that I know I\u2019ll forget on my off days.<\/p>\n
Worry is like a rocking horse: you can sit and rock all day but it won\u2019t get you anywhere.<\/strong><\/p>\n We\u2019ve all been there. It\u2019s 3 a.m. and sleep just isn\u2019t happening. We toss and turn and contemplate the day to come. In that moment, even the prospect of a weekend away can take on elephantine proportions and spawn a thousand possibilities for disaster. These range from the practical (Will I get the train on time?) to the anxiously speculative (Maybe I should take the walking boots, after all. What if it rains?), and the downright ridiculous (What if the B&B doesn\u2019t have muesli\u2013 I\u2019ll have to eat a full English breakfast \u2013 I\u2019ll balloon at least two sizes overnight\u2026). This type of worry is like that rocking horse. No matter how much you stew and how many scenarios you envisage, it will never get you anywhere.<\/p>\n So what do you do at 3 a.m., when the demons circle your bed? The first thing to do is get up and take action to allay the more practical concerns. Make sure the alarm is set, take a quick look at your hotel reservation, pack the walking boots. Then, choose a couple of your more left-field worries and logically deconstruct them: \u201cOK, the B&B might not have muesli, but that doesn\u2019t mean I have to scoff a full fry-up. Two days is not going to make a difference on the scales, and even if it does, letting go for a couple of days will be a well-earned treat, besides the fact that having breakfast cooked for me is a huge luxury to be enjoyed and not feared!\u201d Then, when you\u2019ve taken action to turn the flood of worries into a trickle, get off the rocking horse. Simply stop engaging in those thoughts. Dismount, and trust that whatever happens, you\u2019ll deal with it as best you can \u2013 and feel safe in the knowledge that your best will be so much better after a good night\u2019s sleep.<\/p>\n Put a positive spin on it.<\/strong><\/p>\n Remember the film White Christmas? If you haven\u2019t seen it, break with tradition and watch it now \u2013 in the middle of summer. One of my favourite scenes is when Bing Crosby sings to the classy but sleepless Rosemary Clooney:<\/p>\n When I am worried and I can\u2019t sleep, Sage advice indeed. It\u2019s hard to stay gloomy when you\u2019re listing all the things that good in your life. Now, I know what you\u2019re going to say: when you\u2019re feeling down, it feels as if nothing is good. Well, that\u2019s just the point. For example, today the world is against me: it\u2019s raining, I have a really busy work day, I ladder my tights (naturally), I miss the bus, and by the time I arrive at work (late), my morale is in my boots. It takes some effort to find gratitude, but it\u2019s right now that it\u2019s most required. I start listing: ok, rain \u2013 what\u2019s good about rain? Well, I won\u2019t have to water the garden this evening. Next, busy day \u2013 I\u2019m in demand and my opinion is respected, so people ask me to be in meetings, that\u2019s a good thing. OK, the tights were a casualty of my own haste and are hard to spin\u2026 erm, good excuse to buy some fabulous glossy hold-ups! And, yes, the bus was late, but at least I got a seat.<\/p>\n It can take Herculean force to cross to the sunny side of the street when the cosmos plots against you, but even finding the tiniest silver lining helps. And your list will always increase exponentially \u2013 gratitude breeds gratitude.<\/p>\n STOP<\/strong><\/p>\n When you\u2019re in a negative spiral, it can feel like driving a car too fast on a slippery road approaching a bend. Panic causes paralysis, and we have a tendency to freeze and, ironically, accelerate. On the days when a pity party sounds like fun, a similar kind of emotional panic sets in. Your logical brain knows you\u2019re behind the wheel and, technically, in control, but your feet can\u2019t seem to find the brakes. You know that staying in your bathrobe isn\u2019t helping, that the portable black hole you bought to crawl into is not the answer, and that listening to C\u00e9line\u2019s rendition of All By Myself on a loop is propelling you into worryingly Bridget-esque territory, but your wagon of self-flagellation continues to career towards the abyss.<\/p>\n What will it take to make you hit the brakes? We all take the hint when we see a red light or a stop sign. Well, now\u2019s the time for a well-placed roadside stop sign. A big, red circle screaming DESIST! \u2013 yes, you can even give it an exclamation mark if you like. Imagine your roadside STOP sign and mentally obey. STOP. STOP. STOP. Stop hitting yourself over the head and move your arse. Right, that\u2019s enough wallowing. Stand up, put on some music, dance, sing, go to the cinema, have a shower, phone a friend, take a walk, bake a cake, clear out your wardrobe, clean the bathroom\u2026embark upon any activity other than self-destructive thinking.<\/p>\n Be prepared!<\/strong><\/p>\n There\u2019s a lot to be said for a post-it. When the blues come to call, we all need something to shake us awake and back into positivity \u2013 or at least something to make us realise that we\u2019re just in a low mood and that action is unnecessary. It is on such dark days that we most need our inner wisdom and yet, in one of life\u2019s cruelly ironic twists, it is in precisely these moments that our wisdom is the least accessible to us. So, in true Boy Scout fashion, be prepared. Keep a list of mood-boosting techniques you\u2019ll be glad to re-read in times of trouble. What about making a list of the perfect films to watch and songs to play? Add some photos of amazing times in your life, a pressed flower from a treasured bouquet, a favourite poem. Remind yourself of the best people to call, and call them. Going out and spending time with other people is often the last thing you want to do when you\u2019re feeling down, but it never fails to give you much-needed perspective. Whether it\u2019s just enjoying the company of people you love (yes, you do have some \u2013 seriously, turn that flippin\u2019 C\u00e9line song off!) or listening to someone else\u2019s problems and realising that yours are not the only crises in the world. In fact, reaching out a hand to someone in need \u2013 listening to a friend, offering help with a project, or simply doing something spontaneously nice for someone \u2013 is the ultimate mood-booster. Not out of some kind of schadenfreude, but because being of service and bringing joy to others is the quickest route to bringing joy to yourself. And if you believe you can\u2019t do much, think on the words of Mother Teresa: \u201cWe shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do\u201d.<\/p>\n And, if worst comes to worst, offer up your problem to the universe: take your reminder list to read at a local caf\u00e9, treat yourself to a frothy coffee, and keep an eye out for that Hugh\/Dalai hybrid. You never know\u2026<\/p>\n Originally published on Running in Heels.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" On bright days when our cup runneth over, it\u2019s easy to be optimistic and roll with the punches \u2013 positive thinking is second nature to us. However, not every day is a bright day. Sometimes, we wake up to find that, overnight, while nothing has actually changed in our lives, the world has fallen off […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1078,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[168],"tags":[165,166,106,107],"class_list":["post-782","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching","tag-optimism","tag-positive-thinking","tag-positive-thought","tag-worry"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nI count my blessings instead of sheep.
\nAnd I fall asleep counting my blessings.
\nWhen my bankroll is getting small,
\nI think of when I had none at all.
\nAnd I fall asleep counting my blessings.<\/p>\n