I\u2019m a stickler for good table manners. I can\u2019t bear it when people don\u2019t pick up their feet. And finger drumming really gets my goat. I have, I am aware, multiple b\u00eates noires; but by far the most unpleasant \u201cbad habit\u201d in my book is interrupting. As bad behaviour goes, it\u2019s one of the most common and also the most damaging to interpersonal relationships, but luckily, it\u2019s also one that\u2019s relatively easy to correct.<\/p>\n
Interrupting during a conversation takes two main forms: cutting someone off to make one\u2019s own point and finishing someone\u2019s sentence for them. Both drive me mad. The former simply shows a lack of respect for the other person, their right to express themselves, and what they have to communicate. It says, \u201cWhat I want to say is more important and\/or interesting than what you are already in the middle of saying, and frankly, I don\u2019t much care about what you\u2019re trying to tell me\u201d. The latter annoys me because I want to be allowed to express my opinions in my own specifically chosen words. When someone cuts me off and finishes my sentence for me, they almost never say exactly what I was going to say, so I feel like my point is misrepresented and I\u2019m not being fully \u201cheard\u201d. I regularly want to shout \u201cI\u2019m not running out of steam and I don\u2019t need help to make my point; am I just not speaking quickly enough for your liking?\u201d but of course, I\u2019m British, so I just seethe silently instead\u2026<\/p>\n
Being regularly interrupted makes the \u201cvictim\u201d feel unheard, frustrated, disrespected \u2013 none of which helps build a relationship with another person, which, ironically, is often the point of having a conversation in the first place. I don\u2019t know anyone who enjoys being interrupted\u2026 which is odd since we are almost all both victims and perpetrators of this destructive conversational habit.<\/p>\n
So, what happens when you\u2019re the interrupter? In addition to the message you\u2019re sending the person you\u2019re talking to, you\u2019re not doing yourself any favours either. How stressful is it to be responsible for both sides of a conversation \u2013 both your own and the end of every sentence your partner tries to get out? How tense do you get when, instead of listening and then responding, you\u2019re formulating your reply to your friend as they\u2019re talking so that you can start making it even before they\u2019ve finished? How often do you finish someone\u2019s sentence only for them to say, \u201cWell, no, that\u2019s not where I was going with that\u201d?<\/p>\n
Curbing the urge to interrupt \u2013 to butt in with my idea or push people to make their point quicker \u2013 is something I\u2019ve been working on for a while now, and I have to say the benefits are both powerful and immediate. When I\u2019m not thinking ahead to my turn to speak, I can fully listen to friends, right to the end of their sentence or story \u2013 which lets me relax and makes them feel unrushed and heard \u2013 which makes them relax too. Since I\u2019ve heard their full point in their own words, my replies are more pertinent and structured; which makes for a richer conversation.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s no fun being interrupted, but short of actually calling someone out on their bad habit, there\u2019s not much you can do about it. But in a spirit of being the change you want to see in the world, you can work on your own tendency to interrupt, and it really is win-win. The less you do it, the better your conversations and, as everyone relaxes and gets used to being fully heard, the less likely it is that you yourself will be interrupted. So, next time you\u2019re chatting to friends, mentally note how often you start talking before others have really finished. The first step in changing a habit is to acknowledge it \u2013 and when you do start noticing, I bet you\u2019ll shock yourself. And when you start to stop yourself and force yourself to listen patiently, you\u2019ll be amazed at the effect it has on both the people around you and on your own stress levels and enjoyment of the conversation!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m a stickler for good table manners. I can\u2019t bear it when people don\u2019t pick up their feet. And finger drumming really gets my goat. I have, I am aware, multiple b\u00eates noires; but by far the most unpleasant \u201cbad habit\u201d in my book is interrupting. As bad behaviour goes, it\u2019s one of the most common and also the most damaging to interpersonal relationships, but luckily, it\u2019s also one that\u2019s relatively easy to correct.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1101,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[168],"tags":[169,170,171,172],"class_list":["post-846","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching","tag-bad-habits-2","tag-conversation-2","tag-self-improvement-2","tag-stress-2"],"yoast_head":"\n