Life on purpose
Personal musings on how to achieve
a life lived with purpose and on purpose.
In addition to coaching, I am also a writer. My articles on personal development, parenting, cultural adapation, and ex-pat life have been published in a number of British, French and European magazines. I also consult and write for corporate communications projects. If you are interested in my work as a writer, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Be the master, not the slave, of your to-do list
What does your to-do list look like today? Is it long, short, detailed, written down, in your head? I generally have two going at any one time – one for personal tasks (on a post-it), the other for work-related items (currently experimenting with Trello). I love lists...
Identify your values to honour your identity
“This above all: to thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.” So concludes Polonius’ famous soundbite-filled monologue to his son Laertes in Shakespeare’s Hamlet. In other words: know yourself and follow...
What’s your story? Finding a narrative that serves you
Do you ever feel like your life consists of simply keeping all the plates spinning? I know I do. On good days, I look at all the crockery I’ve got under full rotary control and smile smugly. On other days, it can feel like I’m just barely keeping the plates from...
Reclaim your thoughts: changing your relationship to your inner monologue
I have been known to joke that at the ripe old age of 41 I do not feel any different from when I was 21, and in some ways that is true. In others, I am happy to say, it is not: I am definitely more confident and self-possessed now, and less concerned with what others...
Focus on the how: setting New Year’s Intentions
If I read the phrase “these uncertain times” one more time, I will not be held accountable for my actions. It’s flat, hackneyed, over-used - and I'm sure I’m guilty of having written it myself. That said, it is a fairly accurate description of our current situation....
Give the gift of listening this Christmas
It’s that time again, folks: ‘tis the season to be jolly, deck the halls, and sing the 12 days. And while it has become fashionable of late to deride the cheesiness of many Christmas traditions and bemoan its commercialisation, I have to say I love this time of year....
Why balance is overrated: the case for living life in chapters
As I type the title of my article this month, I cringe, waiting for the Personal Development and Wellbeing Overlords to strike me down. I have rebelled. I have taken sacred words in vain. I have dared to suggest that the much-coveted and ever elusive balance on which...
Watch your words: redefining bad language
I have never really been much of a swearer. When I was growing up, my mother drilled it into me that swearing is a lazy form of self-expression. She encouraged me to choose my words more carefully, often with more devastating effect than any S- or F-bomb could ever...
Back to school: rocking the rentrée like a français
This September, I am celebrating the 18th anniversary of life in France. Since my arrival with one suitcase, a seven-month teaching contract, and a tiny room in a sort of Parisian YWCA, my life has undergone numerous metamorphoses. These days, there’s a husband, a...
Exiting lockdown with new purpose
Asking yourself (and taking the time to answer!) these six powerful questions can help you emerge from lockdown with renewed purpose and a stronger sense of self. One thing has dominated our lives for the last 18 months and, sadly, it has not been Bridgerton or Call...
Check your alignment to make your choices serve your purpose
Despite my relative youth I have had what used to be called “quite a few different jobs” and is now referred to as a “portfolio career”. In each of my incarnations, I have learned new skills and worked with some wonderful people who have often become friends. During...
Hope springs eternal
Of late, my family has been enjoying our first small but successful crop of tulips, grape hyacinths and narcissi. They have provided a joyful burst of colour in some slightly bare patches of the garden and offered a much-needed springtime boost while the rest of our...
Kissing frogs in a leap of faith
It’s hard to take a leap of faith and say “yes” to life, but sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs and risk meeting some toads if you are to have a chance of creating the life you want and achieving your heart’s desire. Because it only takes one frog turning into a...
Keeping track to build new habits
If you’re trying to establish healthy new habits, it can help to hold yourself accountable using a home-made habit tracker. I tried one out for a month and learned some valuable lessons in the process. As a former nail-biter, I speak from experience when I say that it...
Making the most of the day
What if shifting your focus from having a good day to making the most of your day could liberate you to enjoy even the dreariest of chore-filled days? Every morning, as I see my children off to school and the childminder’s house, I give them the same three things: a...
Making the New Year mindful
Making the New Year mindful New Year’s resolutions might give you the chills, but there are lots of other practices and rituals you can use to ensure you step into the new year mindfully and with intention. It has been said that April is the cruellest month. However,...
The Motherhood Diaries : Are You a Competitive Mother?
If motherhood were a competitive sport, the Olympic committee would be overrun with candidates… I am not a competitive person. I get no pleasure from an activity when trying to do it faster or better or for longer than someone else. Example: swimming lessons. I loved...
The Motherhood Diaries : Master Juggler of Home, Family and Work
When I was a child, my mother worked part-time. Because of this, I gained an early appreciation of the wealth of options offered by flexible working hours. Indeed, I made elaborate plans for my future career. Or should I say, careers? When I was asked what I wanted to...
The Motherhood Diaries : Take Care of Yourself Like You Take Care of Them
A recent incident involving, of all things, footwear, got me thinking about all the ways in which I take excellent care of my family, particularly my daughter, but not myself. I book appointments around nap times so she gets enough rest, keep her carnet de santé up to...
To find your groove in Paris, get networking!
Are you in a rut? Do you feel slightly stuck, or maybe a bit lost? Perhaps you’re actually doing fine, but you have that feeling that you could be doing better. Maybe there projects you want to start, but you’re finding it hard to gain momentum, or you just don’t know...
Stretching yourself: doing things the ex-pat way
In any Paris exercise class – be it Pilates, Gym Suedoise or the unappealingly named “Body Attack” – there is always a moment when can you spot the other ex-pat(s) in the room. It’s at that point when the instructor says something like (here I take an example from my...
The Motherhood Diaries : Turning Worry About Education into Productive Thinking
From the moment one becomes a parent (and I mean, from the second we know that sperm has successfully met egg), at least 10% of one’s brainpower at any given time is taken up with worrying about one’s offspring. Health, happiness, brain development, achievement of key...
The Motherhood Diaries : When Letting Go of Your Child is Hard to Do
Recently, my daughter had her first ever rentrée – an initiation to an autumn ritual every mother in France must face. No uniform or stationery purchases were required (more’s the pity – I love buying notebooks); my 14-month-old simply started going to a childminder...
How to Réussir La Rentrée
I have long been intrigued by French words for which no satisfactory translation can be found in English. For example, profiter: enjoy, make the most of it, take advantage – none of them really conveys the full meaning of the verb for me. Gourmand: someone who likes...
The Motherhood Diaries : 6 Tips for Holidaying with a Baby
Recently, my husband and I undertook a major challenge. Now, just for context, you should know that we have both climbed some serious mountains in our time. I moved to Paris alone at the age of 23, we moved house with a one-month-old baby, and my best beloved is a fan...
Baby weight: finding the positive in the pressure to gain little and lose quickly
Stop drinking. Take folic acid. Buy maternity clothes with clownish but addictively comfortable stretch panel. Put gynaecologist on speed dial. Watch your weight. What now? Watch your weight? Of all the annoyances and indignities one suffers when pregnant, being told...
La diversification: sometimes what’s good for the baby is good for the maman
There are times when living life (and being a parent) in a foreign language and as an ex-pat makes the simplest task a challenge. When you need to pull out a dictionary during your pre-natal doctor's appointment, for example; when you're not entirely sure where to...
The Motherhood Diaries : Living with Chronic Fatigue
You know he’s tired when your husband confuses you with your daughter… of eight months. Last week, I plopped down onto the sofa, baby in arms ready for a feed, and asked my husband to pass me a bib. Ever obliging, he brought it over and proceeded absentmindedly to tie...
The Motherhood Diaries : Facing Unwanted Advice or Worse, Scolding
When I was pregnant, my mother offered me a single piece of priceless wisdom about raising a child: “Everyone will have an opinion on everything. Don’t feel obliged to listen to anyone.” I heard her advice while huge and happy on pregnancy hormones. Now, with an...
I’ve started so let me finish
I’m a stickler for good table manners. I can’t bear it when people don’t pick up their feet. And finger drumming really gets my goat. I have, I am aware, multiple bêtes noires; but by far the most unpleasant “bad habit” in my book is interrupting. As bad behaviour goes, it’s one of the most common and also the most damaging to interpersonal relationships, but luckily, it’s also one that’s relatively easy to correct.
The big spring stock-take
The benefit of regular clear-outs is a fact universally acknowledged. Or at least it is in my house. My husband was stunned by the joy I felt when they installed massive clothing donation bins at the entrance to the metro nearest our flat; and I challenge anyone not to feel freer, lighter and more in control after taking a bag load of I’ll-never-read-these-again books to Oxfam.
GAGging the voice of overwhelm
I have of late—but wherefore I know not—lost all my mirth. Well, not quite; I’m certainly nowhere near Hamlet’s level of sadness and introspection, but I have found myself somewhat on the grumpy side recently. You know, that state where everything seems like a big...
Choose your words carefully
To resolve or not to resolve, that is the question. It’s the one we ask ourselves each January as the annual invitation to start over rolls around. In the media, there’s the usual flurry of “How to make resolutions that last”-type articles (the kind of stuff I love to...
Appreciating all the saints
It’s 31st October, Halloween; and pitch black outside. As I type, a single candle glows on the coffee table and the street lamps are starting to flicker to life. All spooky stuff, of course, if you’re in the mood to get into it, which sadly we in Europe don’t tend to...
Every time we say goodbye
Saying goodbye to friends is never easy, but the end of an era can be the perfect reminder to live in the moment. Living abroad is an immensely rewarding experience: the constant sense of adventure; opportunities for language learning; a greater respect and tolerance...
Dear diary
How keeping a one-line diary has changed the way I look at, describe and recall my day… and my life. On this day in 2013, I was having my first wedding dress fitting. And it’ll be a year ago this weekend that I saw a fantastic production of Sunday in the Park with...
When giving up makes you the winner
Seeing things through. Honouring your commitments. Giving your all. Noble thoughts, and laudable goals indeed, but are they always the best route to peace and happiness? Stop pushing yourself This week, as I was leaving the office after a hectic day, I faced a...
Finding time
We all get just 24 hours in our day, so how come some people seem to manage to find time for everything and others are permanently rushing? When it comes to time management, some are definitely more equal than others. The most common complaint I hear from friends,...
The three-step guide to a glossier life
We all know a woman who seems to have it all, the kind that truly can run in heels and not break an ankle. She makes us all feel our lives are just a little shabby in comparison. But what if, instead of hating her, you could become her? We all know one. You know,...
Quality over quantity. Or, How I plan to become more like Grace Kelly
Self-respect manifests itself in multiple ways – not least in the choices we make on a daily basis. Make sure the decisions you make for yourself are considerate, attentive and confident, and Grace Kelly-like poise and graciousness is well within reach. As I sit down...
Lucky burdens
When you’re feeling weighed down by duties and chores, look past the to-do list to the blessing behind the burdens and you’ll soon find they’re light as a feather. As everyone I’ve spoken to since last May knows (I’m just a little excited), the Beloved and I are...
Fatigue Fighting
The long nights and chilly air this time of the year can make us all want to take a duvet day or indeed a duvet month, but when it comes to fighting fatigue, attitude is half the battle. Maybe it’s because of the winter weather, maybe it’s the general economic slump,...
Lighten your load
January is traditionally a time when we start expecting more from ourselves, imposing diets and exercise regimes on our bodies, beginning new projects and giving up vices. But what if, this year, you chose to lose a different kind of weight? Happy New Year, readers! A...
Choosing Christmas Cheer
The season is upon us – it’s an annual inevitability. But how will you choose to embrace the festive season this year? Will you be Scrooge? The Grinch? Or a zen Christmas fairy? Believe it or not, the choice is yours. Christmas comes but once a year, but boy, each...
Breaking the mould
Whether you conform to society’s current physical ideal or not, you can only gain from opting out of the rush to look like the latest image of perfection and taking the time to find your own beauty – whatever it looks like. Hungry but chic. What does that mean to you?...
Seeking inner strengths
We may not always see the qualities other people value in us, but our strengths are there – we just need to see ourselves from the right angle. If you had asked me what a manga was nine years ago, before I had lived in France, I probably would have guessed it was some...
Make it easy on yourself
Acquiring just a few good organisational habits will help your day go with a swing rather than a bang – because life doesn’t have to be so hard. It’s a commonly held misconception that life is hard. That it’s a struggle, a war, and that, even in the comfort of...
Bloom where you’re planted
Faced with difficult circumstances, you can choose to struggle and wilt or make the most of where you find yourself and bloom, right there where you’re planted. I recently found myself at a party making small talk with a woman who had just moved to Germany. Following...
The forgotten commandment: Thou Shalt Not Whine
In the long grey winter months, it’s easy to be negative and hard to act cheery, but just as you are what you eat, so too you feel what you focus on. Choose to change your focus. You can’t really argue with the Ten Commandments. I mean, as rules for happy and...
Tales of the unexpected
If life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans, it’s wise to keep a few gaps in your diary… I am definitely one of life’s planners. I like making a list, checking it twice, then typing it up and keeping it on file. I enjoy feeling organised and like...
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