I have always collected quotations. Since I was quite young, I’ve kept a notebook of witty, uplifting or simply beautifully expressed truths I’ve heard or read; studying English Literature intensified my habit. Now, as a parent, I keep a journal for each of my children, noting down the funny, sweet and heartbreakingly wise things they say.

A few months ago, a friend shared a quotation with me in the form of a Pinterest-style meme that has been running through my head ever since. So many of the “inspirational” quotations I find online are eye-rollingly grandiose (“Think like a queen!”) or banal and overly generic (“Never give up!”), but this one had that ring of truth to it that felt important to me.

“You can do it like it’s a great weight on you, or like it’s part of the dance.”

I was folding laundry when my friend’s text came through, and it could not have been timed better. I literally stopped pairing up socks for a minute to digest the words and consider the instant application I could make of them. I had been powering through my to-do list all day, trying to finish everything as quickly as possible so that I could “get it done” and, to be honest, I had at times felt slightly resentful. Why am I unloading the dishwasher again? How does this family create so much dirty washing? Gosh, I hate doing my professional monthly accounts. How many unread emails is that? Great weight definitely; not a dance move in sight.

A little digging revealed that the words that had struck such a chord with me were actually penned by American spiritual writer Ram Dass. As I considered them further, I was struck both by the fundamental truth of what I was reading, and also how easily they could be seen as just another motivational poster that sounds deep but is actually ridiculous, impossible or downright harmful when taken to its logical conclusion and applied to real situations (“Live every day as if it’s your last” is a great example of all three and a personal favourite). To my mind, a quote is only really motivational or inspirational if you can actually apply it practically to live a better life.

So, if we unpack this interesting aphorism, what life-enhancing applications might we discover?

Adding grace to the daily grind

The first and most obvious one is, as mentioned above, daily chores. I’ve tried in the past to perform the Jedi mind trick of turning “I have to do the laundry” into “I get to do the laundry”, stopping by “I’m grateful to have clothes to launder” on my way. I get it, and I fully appreciate that I am lucky to have money to buy clothes, a healthy body to wear them on, etc., but somehow it doesn’t lighten the burden for me. However, when I started looking at the various household tasks I perform through the lens of “this is part of the dance”, I was able to shed some of the great weight. Yes, I’d rather be sipping a Mai Tai in an infinity pool in Turkey than taking out the bins, but by accepting that messy chores are part of the dance too, I was able to harness a little more grace and even enthusiasm. They become one of the many, varied moves I make in my life, rather than a seemingly relentless and repetitive obligation.

Does anyone enjoy paperwork?

Workplace examples abound. We all have bits of our job that we dislike. Often, days that include too many of those get categorised as bad or boring, and are treated as a great weight, with much huffing, puffing, sighing and moaning. Indeed, work as a whole is often carried as a burden – something to be got through while we wait for the weekend to arrive. When I started looking at the bits of my job that I dislike (accounting and admin!) as simply the part of the dance that needs to be performed today, I felt a slight shift in how I went about my tasks. I didn’t necessarily enjoy them more, but I didn’t resent them as much either. Rather than seeing them as burdensome obligations getting in the way of my doing the things I enjoy, I could appreciate them and see their usefulness. Like a dancer bending at the knee before a huge leap, or marking a tiny pause before a perfect pirouette, it’s all needed to create the bigger picture of the dance.

Lightening Mum’s load

I also love the notion of seeing what could be a burden as part of the dance within the context of parenting. While being a mother brings so much joy, it is also a heavy responsibility to shoulder. There seem to be hundreds of decisions to make every day, things to acquire, stuff to get done. Recently, we had to buy all the kids’ supplies for the new school year. This is a job I usually dread, do alone, and try to power through as quickly as possible (anyone who has ever seen the exhaustive and madly specific list of stuff required by French schools will understand). This year, however, embracing the task as part of the dance, I decided to do the shop with the children, making a dedicated trip for the purpose and not trying to get anything else done at the same time. It became a game. A treasure hunt to find the compasses. Who can find the biggest box of pencils? Which dictionary best fits the incredibly precise description given by the teacher? Walking home, the shopping bag may have been heavy but I had definitely gone from experiencing the task as a weight on my shoulders to seeing it as just another part of the dance.

Burden, or part of the dance: you get to choose

Reframing the parts of life that irritate, upset, bore, or even frighten us won’t necessarily make them more fun but, for me, it certainly took a lot of the sting out of them. It reminded me that attitude and outlook have the power to transform our experiences. In certain situations, we are naturally predisposed to see even the least fun things as part of the dance. A long journey to reach a holiday destination can be stressful and tiring (especially with small children), but I always undertake such a trip with a relatively light heart, because for me packing, navigating the airport/railway station, browsing unfamiliar boutiques, and displaying dreadful passport photos to incredulous customs officials, are all part of the fun. For me, the holiday begins the second I open my suitcase to pack.

The idea that ““You can do it like it’s a great weight on you, or like it’s part of the dance”” reminded me that—in any given situation, faced with any task whatsoever—I can choose what I consider to include under the heading “all part of the fun”. The more I consider to be “part of the dance”, the more ease and enjoyment I can access, and the less weight and burdens I find I carry.

Do these words strike a chord with you as they did with me? Do you wish that you could shed some of the weight of life and live with greater enthusiasm, joy and contentment? Through the support of an experienced coaching professional (who is fully “walking her talk”!), you can find your path towards a life with fewer burdens and more dancing. Contact me to find out more about working together.